Single women, unite! I need to some strong feedback to get over this one.
Last night, I happened to stumble into an AIM conversation with a former romantic interest of mine (and by former, I mean happened-to-like-him-while-he-dated-someone-else former interest). Admitedly, I was pleasantly surprised to enter into a dialogue with him, as we had not truly spoken face-to-face in over a year. We had met in college, quickly becoming fast friends, yet friends we remained, as he continued to date his girlfriend of over 3 years, and as I continued to fail at all things relationship-wise.
Fast forward two years into the future, where fate would find us together on a warm, summer night, enjoying light beverages and good conversation. Great conversation, even...except for the fact that he had just recently been dumped by his long-term girlfriend. Yes, wa-hoo, yi---I mean, ouch. That's gotta hurt. I feel ya, man.
As one drink led to another, and another led to 5, we somehow made our way to a late-night movie. He was upset, feeling lonely...I was the shoulder to cry on. Or, in this case, lean on...and cuddle with. Wait, cuddling? I'm all for cuddling. More cuddling, I say. Even hand-holding's fine by me.
And what made the night just as sweet was that was as far as anything went. I drove home that night feeling like I had made a connection. Hey, maybe this summer wasn't going to be as bad as I thought it was! My dry dating streak was coming to an end!
So, of course my mind did what every single girl's mind does when an opportunity to date comes along: you start picking out wedding patterns and children's names. I can't really blame myself, I'm a picky person when it comes to dating. So, whenever I find someone with good grammar, clean hygiene, a snarky sense of humor, and a decent 401k plan, I tend to get overly excited. I started imagining all the things we could do together, where our first kiss would be, etc. Yada yada yada, ad nauseum. Thinking about all of it now DOES make me nauseous.
Do I even need to point where this story leads next? Guy drinks with girl. Guy flirts with girl. Guy goes home and regrets flirting with girl other than his ex, whom he still pines for. Guy refuses to speak to girl for days, weeks, and months. Girl loses good friend. Girl gets pissed.
I walked away from that night hurt, confused, and feeling quite used. Why is it I'm always the second choice for a guy, unless something better comes along? Well, no longer! I will not be the romantic doormat ('cause hey, at least a door knob gets an occasional grab, heh heh heh!) Lame joke, moving on.
So, said doormat-user suddenly appeared into my life this past week, messaging me through vehicles such as Facebook and AIM. What's up, he says. We should get together, he says. I'll let you know when I'm free, he says. Okay. That's cool. But fear not, blog-fans. I'm making him do all the dirty work this time. If he wants my time, he's going to have to work for it.
And yes, a part of my cold, desolated heart did pick up a bit when he expressed his interest in seeing me. I mean, I was the jilted lover, for pete's sake. Who wouldn't feel some sort of redemption?
Well, that redemption didn't last for long. Not even 5 minutes. 'Cause, who naturally had to ask him about his love life? Me. And who was he still pining over, still fresh from the recent breakup 2 months ago? NOT me....his younger, skinnier, beautiful girlfriend, who, in his words, was perfection. Per-fuckin'-fection.
Swirls of doubt...swirled...into my mind. I'm in shape, mind you, but not stick thin. I have highlights in my hair, not naturally radiant locks. And I'm 24, certainly not a youthful, buoyant 19. And perfection? I'm far from that. I revel in my imperfections. Yet, upon hearing me this, I got a little melancholy, thinking that I would never be able to live up to the memory of her.
Wait a second...hold the phone....stop the presses! What am I saying? Why on earth would I want to live up to someone else? Why would I want to try to make myself perfect in someone else's eyes when, really, I should already be perfect to the person I'm meant to be with? I can't compete with perfection...nor do I want to. I will NOT allow myself to become that doormat again, used only when necessary.
I'm always delighted when former interests (numbering 4) begin talking to me again. It makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, they realized what they left behind. But I'm not that girl they left behind anymore. I'm a stronger person now, and I now, in my heart of hearts, that I deserve better than a date here or a drink there. As much as I'd like to pursue this interest, my defense guard is holding me back for the moment, reminding me who I am and who I deserve to be with...someone who will think I'm perfect for who I am. The end.*
**I'm sure more blog posts will ensue on said "Guy", who we will affectionately refer to as...."Guy." I will try to make them as humorous and light-hearted as possible.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, January 14, 2008
Oprah is Keeping Me Captive
Help! To those out there in the Blog-O-Sphere, please save me! Oprah is holding me under lock-and-key and I am unable to do anything about it. She has somehow used her powers of mental telepathy and is keeping me pressured into the comfortable pillows of my living room couch. This has been going on for three straight days, and I don't believe there is an end in sight.
Well, that's not true: as soon as Disc 6 plays itself out, I will be freed of my imprisonment. You see, for the past 2 days, I have been hypnotized by the box set of The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary Collection. I don't believe I've changed my clothes since Sunday. I've only moved from my position to eat, pee, or sleep. Damn you, Oprah. Damn you.
Up until Saturday, I had never really watched the Oprah Show. I have seen various episodes here and there (c'mon...who can resist watching her My Favorite Things show?), but I was never one of those who would race home to tune in to her daily telecast. In fact, I was honestly under the impression that Oprah garnered a lot of unnecessary hype, and I had always questioned whether or not she was a truly genuine person. Her interview style is often controversial, asking the questions no one dares to ask. I self-consciously boycotted her show, because I could never understand what the hype was all about.
And now, we've bonded.
Our relationship began to blossom early Sunday morning, when I fell victim to a nasty bout of the stomach flu. I had to skip Sunday school, and was left alone in the house while my mom went to church. Unable to occupy my time by grazing through the kitchen (my usual activity), I was forced to rely on the DVDs awaiting me in the living room and the comfort of my fleece blanket.
My eyes landed on a box set of DVDs recently left for me by a close neighborhood friend. The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary Collection. Uh oh. I had heard about this set. A collage of Oprah's best moments throughout her television career, filled with heart-wrenching stories and inspirational messages. An emotional journey, as billed to me by my friend. Well, Ms. Oprah, we'll see about that!
I inserted Disc 1, and struck a stiff upper lip, swearing that I would not succumb to the current of emotion awaiting for me on all 6 discs. I would not be swayed by the phenomenon known for her generosity, philanthropy, and clout. I would become stoic, passing by the morning in my comfy pink robe and my pride.
I was set up from the start.
From 9 AM in the morning until 11 PM that evening, I sat, transfixed, as I placed disc after disc into my DVD player. Empty plates and mugs began to pile up on my coffee table. I found members of my family being drawn in by her tractor beam, sucked down by gravity to the nearest armchair. I was helpless, unable to escape her stories of weight loss, family grief, worldwide tragedies, relationships with celebrities, and her school in Africa. There was a tiny voice in the back of my head shrieking "Fight it! FIGHT IT!!!" But, I couldn't. I didn't want to.
My whole opinion of Oprah was changed that day. Her tenacity, alone, should be enough to change anyone's mind. But Oprah aside, the stories told on these discs are some of the most touching, emotional and life changing tales I have ever heard. They really make you appreciate your own life, and the treasures that you already have access to. For example, I went to bed last night after hearing about the Columbine tragedy, and here I am, bemoaning the fact that my Christmas break is drawing to a close in less than a week. What was I thinking?
So, in short, the Oprah Collection is definitely worth a rental if you have nothing to do on a snowy weekend. It brought back memories of when I gave an entire week to seasons 1 and 2 of Grey's Anatomy. You can't eat, sleep, or move on with your life until you finish the box set. Plus, if anything, it really will provide you with some inspiration if you're looking for some. Not to mention a few laughs here and there, and an insight into one of America's leading ladies.
Just be sure to get the Kleenex box ready.
Well, that's not true: as soon as Disc 6 plays itself out, I will be freed of my imprisonment. You see, for the past 2 days, I have been hypnotized by the box set of The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary Collection. I don't believe I've changed my clothes since Sunday. I've only moved from my position to eat, pee, or sleep. Damn you, Oprah. Damn you.
Up until Saturday, I had never really watched the Oprah Show. I have seen various episodes here and there (c'mon...who can resist watching her My Favorite Things show?), but I was never one of those who would race home to tune in to her daily telecast. In fact, I was honestly under the impression that Oprah garnered a lot of unnecessary hype, and I had always questioned whether or not she was a truly genuine person. Her interview style is often controversial, asking the questions no one dares to ask. I self-consciously boycotted her show, because I could never understand what the hype was all about.
And now, we've bonded.
Our relationship began to blossom early Sunday morning, when I fell victim to a nasty bout of the stomach flu. I had to skip Sunday school, and was left alone in the house while my mom went to church. Unable to occupy my time by grazing through the kitchen (my usual activity), I was forced to rely on the DVDs awaiting me in the living room and the comfort of my fleece blanket.
My eyes landed on a box set of DVDs recently left for me by a close neighborhood friend. The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary Collection. Uh oh. I had heard about this set. A collage of Oprah's best moments throughout her television career, filled with heart-wrenching stories and inspirational messages. An emotional journey, as billed to me by my friend. Well, Ms. Oprah, we'll see about that!
I inserted Disc 1, and struck a stiff upper lip, swearing that I would not succumb to the current of emotion awaiting for me on all 6 discs. I would not be swayed by the phenomenon known for her generosity, philanthropy, and clout. I would become stoic, passing by the morning in my comfy pink robe and my pride.
I was set up from the start.
From 9 AM in the morning until 11 PM that evening, I sat, transfixed, as I placed disc after disc into my DVD player. Empty plates and mugs began to pile up on my coffee table. I found members of my family being drawn in by her tractor beam, sucked down by gravity to the nearest armchair. I was helpless, unable to escape her stories of weight loss, family grief, worldwide tragedies, relationships with celebrities, and her school in Africa. There was a tiny voice in the back of my head shrieking "Fight it! FIGHT IT!!!" But, I couldn't. I didn't want to.
My whole opinion of Oprah was changed that day. Her tenacity, alone, should be enough to change anyone's mind. But Oprah aside, the stories told on these discs are some of the most touching, emotional and life changing tales I have ever heard. They really make you appreciate your own life, and the treasures that you already have access to. For example, I went to bed last night after hearing about the Columbine tragedy, and here I am, bemoaning the fact that my Christmas break is drawing to a close in less than a week. What was I thinking?
So, in short, the Oprah Collection is definitely worth a rental if you have nothing to do on a snowy weekend. It brought back memories of when I gave an entire week to seasons 1 and 2 of Grey's Anatomy. You can't eat, sleep, or move on with your life until you finish the box set. Plus, if anything, it really will provide you with some inspiration if you're looking for some. Not to mention a few laughs here and there, and an insight into one of America's leading ladies.
Just be sure to get the Kleenex box ready.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
A Taste of Things to Come
Welcome! A new year, a new me, and a new blog. 2008 will be about trying new and exciting things, surprising myself on a daily basis, and being friendly to every person I meet. So, to you, unknown Web surfer...I say, welcome!
So, what's this blog about, you ask? Good question. An excellent question. And it deserves an excellent answer....but I don't have one!
I have many, actually. This blog, as hinted at by the name (taken from You've Got Mail), is about movies. I love movies. I love going to movies, buying movies, renting movies, pretending like I'm in movies. And I really love talking about movies. So, for one, this blog is about all things cinema and popcorn.
Mmm. Popcorn. Another facet of this blog: food. I also love food: eating, baking, grilling, cooking, dining...all of it. From the newest Chinese take out joint, to the whole-in-the-wall burger place, I'll try anything once (and talk about it here). And don't even get me started on cheesecakes.
Alas, because of my love affair with food, I've also grown to love exercise. And good nutrition, too, to offset those nights of passion with the aforementioned cheesecake (the slices never call, they never write...). I've run the gambit of diets, workout DVDs, gym equipment, low cal drinks, and sugar-free chocolates (I mean, really...sugar-free chocolate?). I've gone from being way too obsessed with weight and image, to having a comfortable grip on the body I have now. I'll get more into this later, but for now, more reasons for this blog!
Ah, and then there's TV. I have no time to watch TV. I don't. But I do have time to watch my vast collection of television DVD box sets. And it's growing everyday! You will find I often talk about Grey's Anatomy, The Office, The Colbert Report, Heroes, and my new guilty pleasure, American Gladiators! These are "my shows!" These are "my people!"
And this blog is about music. My passion. My life. I'm a musician, first and foremost, and my iPod will occasionally shuffle between Creed, Savage Garden, movie scores/soundtracks, Broadway musicals, opera, solo piano, Celine Dion, and yes, even Eiffel 65 ("I'm blue, da ba dee da bah da...."). I like music like I like dessert: every single kind.
And last, but certainly not least, this blog is about writing. My secret passion. I'm currently writing the next great children's/fantasy novel. Of course, no one knows this yet, but I am. One of my greatest heroes is J.K. Rowling, and I won't even go into my Harry Potter obsession right now. I enjoy writing to inspire, but moreover, to evoke a laugh.
So, that's me, in a web-enlosed nutshell. I hope I've peaked enough interest to keep you coming back for more. I do so love meeting new people, so please, feel free to leave your comments, concerns, questions, credit card numbers...whatever floats your boat. Until the next post...
So, what's this blog about, you ask? Good question. An excellent question. And it deserves an excellent answer....but I don't have one!
I have many, actually. This blog, as hinted at by the name (taken from You've Got Mail), is about movies. I love movies. I love going to movies, buying movies, renting movies, pretending like I'm in movies. And I really love talking about movies. So, for one, this blog is about all things cinema and popcorn.
Mmm. Popcorn. Another facet of this blog: food. I also love food: eating, baking, grilling, cooking, dining...all of it. From the newest Chinese take out joint, to the whole-in-the-wall burger place, I'll try anything once (and talk about it here). And don't even get me started on cheesecakes.
Alas, because of my love affair with food, I've also grown to love exercise. And good nutrition, too, to offset those nights of passion with the aforementioned cheesecake (the slices never call, they never write...). I've run the gambit of diets, workout DVDs, gym equipment, low cal drinks, and sugar-free chocolates (I mean, really...sugar-free chocolate?). I've gone from being way too obsessed with weight and image, to having a comfortable grip on the body I have now. I'll get more into this later, but for now, more reasons for this blog!
Ah, and then there's TV. I have no time to watch TV. I don't. But I do have time to watch my vast collection of television DVD box sets. And it's growing everyday! You will find I often talk about Grey's Anatomy, The Office, The Colbert Report, Heroes, and my new guilty pleasure, American Gladiators! These are "my shows!" These are "my people!"
And this blog is about music. My passion. My life. I'm a musician, first and foremost, and my iPod will occasionally shuffle between Creed, Savage Garden, movie scores/soundtracks, Broadway musicals, opera, solo piano, Celine Dion, and yes, even Eiffel 65 ("I'm blue, da ba dee da bah da...."). I like music like I like dessert: every single kind.
And last, but certainly not least, this blog is about writing. My secret passion. I'm currently writing the next great children's/fantasy novel. Of course, no one knows this yet, but I am. One of my greatest heroes is J.K. Rowling, and I won't even go into my Harry Potter obsession right now. I enjoy writing to inspire, but moreover, to evoke a laugh.
So, that's me, in a web-enlosed nutshell. I hope I've peaked enough interest to keep you coming back for more. I do so love meeting new people, so please, feel free to leave your comments, concerns, questions, credit card numbers...whatever floats your boat. Until the next post...
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